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Drumbob Stickpants! (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Drumbob Stickpants! (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction) Synopsis - Spongebob learns how to play the drums to appease his best friend for Best Friends Night. Characters Spongebob Squarepants Patrick Star Squidward Tentacles(Cameo) Advertisers Larry The Lobster Towel Boy Drumporium Employees Gong Specialists Drumporium Customers Nat Peterson The Story The story begins outside Patrick's rock, the night of Best Friends Day. SPONGEBOB: This was such a fun best friends day Patrick! PATRICK: You know what can make it better?! SPONGEBOB: What? PATRICK: Let's get naked! SPONGEBOB: No! PATRICK: Aw! But I really want to freak people out! Oh well… SQUIDWARD! Squidward opens his window. SQUIDWARD: No! Then he closes it. PATRICK: Errgh! Spongebob and Patrick enter the rock. SPONGEBOB: Well, it is 9 PM, our bedtime is not for another two hours, what else do you want to do? PATRICK: I don’t know? You have any ideas? My stupidity will not allow me to think. SPONGEBOB: Origami? PATRICK: Nah SPONGEBOB: Video Games? PATRICK: Played them sixteen times already! SPONGEBOB: Feed the scallops? PATRICK: Lame! Suddenly a TV ad comes on Patrick's sand TV. ADVERTISER: Hey, are you looking for a fun thing to do on Best Friends Day? SPONGEBOB & PATRICK: Yeah? ADVERTISER: Then come on down to the Drumporium and learn how to play the drums! Drum it up with your best friend on the drums and have a drummy night together of drums! Yes I know I said drum a lot grammar people! Don’t judge! SPONGEBOB: I ain’t judging. ADVERTISER: Well you did, now anyways! Come on down! SECOND ADVERTISER: $20, $5 extra with a friend, 1-555-DRUMS. PATRICK: Wow….. Let's drum! SPONGEBOB: I can’t. PATRICK: What do you mean you can’t? SPONGEBOB: I don’t know how to play the drums Patrick. PATRICK: Pfft, are you serious? SPONGEBOB: Serious to the seriosity. PATRICK: Only babies don’t know how to drum!........ And Rock Bottomers. Point is, you need to drum! Can you please do it for your best friend? Pretty please?!! SPONGEBOB: Fine, okay. PATRICK: Yay! I’ll get my coat! SPONGEBOB: But it's Summer. PATRICK: Or is it?! SPONGEBOB: Let's go to the Drumporium. PATRICK: Hehehehe! The scene cuts to the Drumporium. Many people wait in line learning how to play the drums. Some others just watch and there is a very long bathroom line. Spongebob and Patrick walk in and head to the counter. SPONGEBOB(hands the person 25 dollars): 2 drummers… Larry? LARRY THE LOBSTER: Hey Spongebob! And… Lenny? PATRICK: Patrick! LARRY: Oh right, Patrick. SPONGEBOB: I didn’t know you were a Drumporium employee. LARRY: I’m actually just helping out this weekend so I can make extra money for my Gym as well as for the beach. Summer is almost over, need those extra profits! Then Larry flexes, LARRY: And feats of strength! SPONGEBOB: That you do. LARRY: Yep! Now, what are you two planning to do? PATRICK: Where are the chilli cheese nachos?? LARRY: We don’t serve those. But there is a candy bar machine right next to you. Patrick busts it open with his fist. PATRICK: Candy bars! LARRY: ….. It was just 50 cents. SPONGEBOB: May I learn how to play the drums for my best friend on Best Friends Night. LARRY: You sure can! Hey Towel Boy! A towel boy who was gently putting the drumstick on a drum gets startled and falls out of his seat. TOWEL BOY: Who me? LARRY: Clear out! Spongebob needs some drums! The towel boy clears out of the place. LARRY: Enjoy SPONGEBOB: Thank you. LARRY: Now Pat, are you going to pay that 50 cents for those candy bars? PATRICK: May I interest or barter you in some Mighty Mouse cards instead?! LARRY: No PATRICK: I only got nine cents. LARRY: I’ll let it slide this time, 50 cents next time. PATRICK: Gotcha. LARRY: Please stop looking at me. PATRICK: Sorry Spongebob tries to figure out how to use a drumstick. Larry walks up. LARRY: Are you having trouble with the drumstick? SPONGEBOB: Yeah. What does it do? LARRY: Just tap it on the drum. Spongebob tries to tap it on the drum but it slips and pokes Larry in the ribs. LARRY: Oo! SPONGEBOB: Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry! LARRY: Don’t fret Spongebob. My abs or ribs haven’t really hurt me since the daycare days. Larry hands Spongebob some plastic drumming hands instead. LARRY: Here, you these. SPONGEBOB: Yay! Spongebob rips off his own hands. LARRY: Woah! SPONGEBOB: They grow back! Spongebob puts on his drumming hands while his real ones grow back underneath. SPONGEBOB: Now what? LARRY: Pound them on the drum. Spongebob pounds his drumming hands on the drums. LARRY: Now you’re getting it! PATRICK: Wahoo! Go Spongebob! Hey Larry? LARRY: Yes? PATRICK: Can I use the restroom? LARRY: Sure, right over there and take a left. PATRICK: There is a line. LARRY: So you don’t want to go? Patrick drools and something happens in his pants. PATRICK: Nevermind. LARRY: Gross. Spongebob gets aggressive with the hand drumming finally starting to learn the rock out part. LARRY: Woah, slow it down there Spongebob. SPONGEBOB: We will, we will rock you! The drum comes loose and begins rolling toward some Drumporium Employees. EMPLOYEES: Aaaaaaahhhhh!! The drum rolls them and itself down a garbage chute. SPONGEBOB: Uh oh. LARRY(holding some anger back): Why don’t we try the bodhrán. Spongebob gets in front of a huge item. SPONGEBOB: This? LARRY: No! Spongebob rings it and it causes a huge shockwave. LARRY: That was a gong! SPONGEBOB: Oh my. Some “self-proclaimed” gong specialists enter. GONG SPECIALIST: Larry! I said don’t ring the gong! It ain’t a drum! LARRY: I didn’t do it! Spongebob did! And what's a gong doing in a drum shop anyway? The specialist grabs a stethoscope, puts it on Larry's ears and taps a drumstick on it. LARRY: OWWWWWWWW!!!!! They leave. SPONGEBOB: Sorry, Larry. LARRY(hearing gone): What? SPONGEBOB: What? PATRICK: Where is my drummer?! Larry gets his hearing back. LARRY: Ugh! Spongebob! Listen! We will try two more drums! And if you fail, then you’re out! SPONGEBOB: Gotcha. Larry gets out a set of bongo drums. LARRY: Now, these are the bongo drums. And.. PATRICK: Give me those! LARRY: Hey! Patrick destroys the bongo drums. SPONGEBOB: Pat! Larry's face turns more red and angry steam comes out of his ears. LARRY: YOU IDIOT!!! PATRICK: Spongebob's not a hippie! Right Spongebob?! SPONGEBOB: I suppose. LARRY: Those were supposed to teach him!!! PATRICK: My drummer will be a real drummer! Larry's eye twitches. LARRY: Let's move on to the slit drum, before my blood pressure goes through the roof! PATRICK: Blood can not go through roofs! LARRY: But Starfishes can. Larry grabs Patrick and throws him up into the roof. PATRICK: AAAHAHHHHHH! Ow! It's dark up here! Super league of villains? The scene jumps to Spongebob positioned in front of two wooden drums, called the Slit Drum. LARRY: Now this is the slit drum. It is made entirely of wood and is an idiophone. Now, here are your slit drumsticks. Spongebob grabs them and begins doing the same drumming style he did with the hands. LARRY: Lightly! Some customers come up. CUSTOMER: Say this guy ain’t half bad. PATRICK: I’ll be the judge of that! CUSTOMER: Jerk Patrick observes Spongebob drumming but doesn’t look satisfied. PATRICK: Harder! SPONGEBOB: But.. PATRICK: HARDER!! Spongebob picks up the pace. PATRICK: What is this?! I want a drummer! Not a logger! SPONGEBOB: You don’t even know what a logger is! PATRICK: Yeah I do! A logger uhhh, logs and.. stuff. SPONGEBOB: Pat.. LARRY: Pay attention! Patrick takes the slit drumsticks from Spongebob. PATRICK: I’ll show you a real drummer! LARRY: No! No!! Patrick throws away the drumsticks aggressively and pounds his hands on the slit drums eventually destroying them. The customers gasp in shock. PATRICK: Extreme! LARRY: GET OUT!!! Larry kicks Spongebob and Patrick out of the Drumporium. SPONGEBOB: Ow! LARRY: AND DON’T COME BACK! MORONS! Larry shuts the door and locks it. SPONGEBOB: Pat, seriously. PATRICK: Seria,what? SPONGEBOB: You got in your jerk mode again. PATRICK: No I didn’t. Nat Peterson strolls up. NAT: Hey uh, you guys by any chance have some kelp juice? PATRICK: BEAT IT YOU YELLOW LIGHTWEIGHT!!! NAT: AAAAHHHH! Nat runs away. Patrick then realizes what he did. PATRICK: Oh… crud. SPONGEBOB: Yep PATRICK: Sorry SPONGEBOB: Don’t be, no matter how much of a jerk you may be at times, I will always be the better man and forgive you, you know why? PATRICK: Why? SPONGEBOB: You are my best friend forever. Spongebob gets out the ring. BFF RING: It's the best friends forever, Best friends forever ring! Patrick tears up. PATRICK: Thanks buddy! They hug. The two then begin walking back to Patrick's rock. PATRICK: I still wish I had some chilli cheese nachos though. Category:Fanon projects Category:SquidwardTentacles35